Bangkok's Grand Mercure Fortune Hotel - A 4 Star Hotel Near Two of Bangkok's Best Soapy Massage

Grand Mercure Fortune Hotel on Ratchadipesek Road

Bangkok is well known as a city with many affordable high quality 4 star hotels. And a lot of guys visiting the city's red light districts like staying at 4 star hotels because many have a policy of letting guests invite hookers to their rooms. And many are just a short distance from go go bars and massage parlors. Which was why one of my good friends chose to stay at the Grand Mercure Fortune Hotel.

It's a newly renovated in 2013 and before then it was just called the Fortune Hotel. Today, it's totally made over and managed by the Accor hotel chain which is a good as it's known as one of the best hotel chains in Asia.

So the Grand Mercure Fortune is prime location for making easy visits to Amsterdam Soapy Massage, which is directly across a road. But the hotel is also near a lot of other soapies too which you can see from the map below.

The Grand Mercure Fortune is also near Colonze Soapy Massage which is my #2 favorite soapy to visit. I wrote about my 5 Favorite Soapy Massage Parlors here. But Alaina, The Lord and especially Nataree and Caesars are definitely worth taking a look at.

It's not near any go go bars but Soi Cowboy is just a straight shot south of the hotels location. A taxi ride from the Grand Mercure to Soi Cowboy would just take 5 minutes with no traffic and cost around 60THB. Or, simply hop on the MRT subway which is 2 stops to Sukhumvit station near Soi Cowboy.

Because this hotel is not quite too far from Soi Cowboy, many bar girls working out of that area will not hassle you to rent a short time room near where they work. Because they can easily hop on a motor bike taxi and zip back to their bar from the Grand Mercure Fortune Hotel. And since the hotel is guest friendly, you won't be required to pay a joiner fee.

Pha Ram 9 MRT Subway Station

And getting to this hotel is super easy by taxi as almost every driver will know of this hotel plus because it's near an MRT station you can reach this hotel via the airport train. You only have to make a transfer at Makkasan station and walk to Petchburi MRT station. From there it's only one stop to Pha Ram 9 MRT station.

As of writing you can book a superior room at the Grand Mercure Fortune for 2600THB a night with taxes included for November 2014 travel dates. That's $80USD for a 4 star hotel and that's not a bad deal at all.

It's an ideal hotel because it's close to major malls and shopping centers so there's plenty of restaurants, cafes and shops to check out on foot. So you don't really need to travel too far for anything at all.

No Baht - No Honey

More Money You Bring The More Fun You'll Have

Another big question I get asked often his how much it'll cost for one night of fun in Bangkok and Pattaya. It all really depends on how much you want to "do" and most importantly how much Baht you've got stuffed in your pocket. But of course the more money you have on hand the more fun you'll have. Though for even those with a limited budget can still have a decent night out.

There is no real magic number or figure I can throw out. However, it's quite simple to do a price breakdown and from there you can figure out yourself how much you're going to need for a night of sexual romp. But you also have to be realistic. I mean come on, if this is going to be your first foray into Thailand's red light districts I know your imagination is running wild picturing yourself in an orgy with six hookers on your hotel bed followed by another six soapy massage girls in a jacuzzi. But do you really have the stamina to bang 12 girls? Be realistic and don't waste your time on coming up with a budget to bang 12 girls not unless you really know you've got it in you.

I suppose if you're in your early 20's and even up to early 30's it is possible to go all out stud. But if you're in your mid to late 30's and 40's letting the boys out of the gate twice is enough to make you satisfied.

So to start off, lets say you want to scope out a BJ Bar for your first shot. And then off to a go go bar and have a bar girl set off your second shot.

 

A blow job in the afternoon

Lets be conservative and say your body is able to pop twice in 24 hours. Figure a blow job bar during afternoon time which will set you back 700Baht. If she did a great job cleaning your pipes you can tip her say 300THB. You'd probably bought a beer too so that's about 150THB. Tally those numbers up you've just spent 1150THB or $35USD. Not bad for an afternoon hummer.

 

On to a go go bar at night

When the evening rolls in and you're planning on hitting up a go go bar and if you find a dancer you like you can expect to pay 600THB bar fine. If she's one of the best looking girls you can expect to pay 2500THB for an hour which is short time. But it is a go go bar so you will have to buy drinks but let's just say you're going cheap on this and order a water. That small bottle of water will cost you around 50THB depending on the bar. But you have to also buy a lady drink which will usually be a watered down cola but cost you at least 150THB.

Keep in mind, there are go go bars that have a 2 lady drink policy on top of the bar fine such as Baccara Bar in Soi Cowboy. Baccara is one of the best go go bars in Bangkok with fine looking bar girls so the price, depending on your outlook might be justified.

To tally up it's 600THB bar fine + 2500THB short time price + 50THB water + 150THB lady drink for a grand total of 3300THB which is $102USD as of writing.

Include that with the afternoon delight $35USD + 102USD at a go go bar and you've spent $137USD. That's not really bad at all. Considering a night out at a strip club in Las Vegas will undoubtedly cost twice or more and you only go home with blue balls and a wet dick. Thai red light districts are an absolute bargain.

This $137USD figure is or course a conservative figure. I know there are guys who spend way more because of beers and drinks for the ladies. But if you're on a strict(ish) budget $137USD is feasible. If you can't spend more than that you might want to consider saving enough until you can. Not trying to be a dick but I get a lot of emails from guys asking what they can do with a lot less.

There are ways to cut corners. For instance you can pick up a street hooker. With a freelancer there's no need to pay a bar fine nor buy lady drinks. I know guys who strictly sticks with street hookers for those reasons alone. But the trade off is the best looking girls are found in go go bars.

But there are other ways to bang hot Thai chicks and still save some cash. I always tell people that Bangkok's oil massage shops have some of the best looking working girls. And most shops these days have an all inclusive rate meaning you get a mediocre massage and full service. Inclusive rates start at around 2100THB ($65USD) for an hour, some less some a little more depending on the shop you go to. So my advice is if you really want to find hot Thai girls get yourself to a oil massage parlor.

Khao Sok Green Valley Resort, Khao Sok

The resort is located just 200 meters from the entrance of the Khao Sok Nation Park and across the road is a bridge where all tubing and kayaking starts in the rainy season which high water in the river.

The rooms are fairly basic but do have a mini fridge, tv with Thai channels and a mini fridge.

The location is good with a beautiful scenery and there's the small Khao Sok village for your immediate needs with a few restaurants and a small local supermarket. No chain supermarket is allowed in the village, up to this date!

A good budget room with a very friendly and helpful owner.

Booking by AGODA

Booking by HOTELS COMBINED

Guest room

Bungalow

Entrance

Restaurant

River

Khao Sok Tree House Resort, Khao Sok

The Khao Sok Tree House is an adventure! Various sized bungalows, around 15 in total, are located within a large parcel of jungle and most of them are build high in the tree tops.

Not something for the weak hearted, at night walking through the jungle or towards your bed on a walk bridge some 20 meters above the jungle floor, which moves a bit with every step you take.

The bungalows are all unique and lots of fun to visit or sleep in. Some have tents in them for the children, some have bathrooms on a balcony overlooking the jungle but one thing they all have in common, they are unique!

The attached restaurant I also found to be one of the better choices in Khao Sok. All the usual tours to the Khao Sok National Park and tubing trips are offered but they also offer bird watching.

This is one of my fave resorts in the area and I can highly recommend it.

Booking by HOTELS COMBINED

Guest room

Bungalows in the jungle

Family bungalow which can house up to 10 people

Bungalow in the tree tops

Swimming pool

Entrance

How Is Safety Inside Bangkok's Go Go Bars and Massage Parlors?

With the high season kicking in gear, a lot of newbie questions have been rolling in. And this particular question on safety inside of Bangkok's or even Pattya's bar and massage shops is probably on the minds of many first timers who are hesitant on booking that plane ticket.

In a nutshell, yes you can feel safe inside go go bars and massage parlors. Some go go bars have bouncers outside like Shark Bar and Bacarra in Soi Cowboy. Some bars don't have any at all or at least visible like almost every go go bar inside Nana Plaza. Patpong's go go bars have armies of touts so I suppose those guys double as security in case shit does go down.

But overall, you won't find any bouncers or security type folks visible inside go go bars. And even then, those types of venues are quite safe.

Of all the years I've been in go go bars I have seen a couple of fights between customers. And only then have I seen Thai's whom I presume are bar bouncers materialize out of nowhere to throw out the offending patrons.

I have seen foreign customers fight with Thai bouncers twice. And twice I have never seen men beat down so badly in my life. Don't mess with Thais' on there territory folks, you won't win.

On that cheerful note, most bar patrons are guys just like you. They want to have a good time and watch hot Thai bar girls twirl around a pole. A lot of bar customers are just regular folks who have 9 to 5 jobs in their home country and not mobsters and gangsters. And even if you do see an odd foreigner who does have a shady past in most likelihood they don't want to start shit with you even if they don't like the way you look.

Massage parlors, whether they be oily or soapies have a very safe atmosphere for customers too. There are no visible security measures but I'm assuming the papasans would kick someones ass if they get out of line. But in any case, if trouble does start inside an oily or soapy they will call the cops and every single one of those establishments are "sponsored" by the local police force you can bet your ass they'll arrive quickly.

That said of all the times I've been going to massage shops never have I once seen some type of incident involving the police or unruly customers being forced off premise kicking and screaming.

You see, Bangkok and Pattaya's red light districts are big money makers so there are unseen forces (be it Thai police, the mafia, or political) that are in play to try and keep the places as safe as possible for foreign visitors to the city's notorious red light districts.

There's a lot to cover on the subject of visiting Bangkok's nightlife but you can get a good grasp of what to expect here on my tips for first timers section and Red Eye Travel Guide. And even if you haven't been to Bangkok for a long while both those sections will fill you in on what has changed or give you a refresher course.

Where to Pick Up The "Good Girls" in Bangkok

Okay, so just to start off I'm going to be up front. These days, I'm about 20 years too old and just as many lbs. overweight to be picking up Thai girls that are not working in Bangkok's sex industry. The so called "good Thai girls" will not go for a slob like me. I've tried. Believe me. So I can't tell you how to pick up beautiful Thai girls that have proper day jobs. I can only give you advice on those that you'd have to pay to open their legs. Sorry.

Many expensive bars in Suk Soi 11 but there are also affordable bars too

These days there are lots of young good looking foreign guys coming in that I can't compete against. I get a lot of emails asking me where one can go find Thai girls not involved in the pay for play scene. And to those that I get a chance to reply to I always ask first "How old are you? The usual replies are "I'm 60 years old" followed by "but I'm in great shape" and even went as far as showing me a half nude pic of himself, which I really did not want to see.

Listen up fellas, I'm not that old either.  However the good girls have plenty of choices of foreign men in their 20's and even early 30's. Late 30's you've got a chance especially when you don't look it. But the better shape you're in and better looking for the ladies then you've still got chance.

But really, if a Thai girl with a good decent job that loves to party in some of Bangkok's best clubs and bars with their friends and on the lookout for a one night stand or even a boyfriend don't want a dude twice her age and 4 times her weight.

President Palace Hotel

Okay, so I'll throw out there that there are young girls who dig old farts. But let's face it not all Thai girls with proper job and stable family life are destitute and desperate. And if they could make a choice they'd stick with the guys around their own age.

With that out of the way, I do get a lot of emails from foreigners from all over the world in their mid 20's and early 30's. And they ask me the same question as the old farts.

Salil Sukhumvit 11 Hotel

So, if I was younger man, looking for a Thai girl not in the sex industry I would head to Sukhumvit Soi 11. There are a lot of mainstream bars in that area that are not dedicated play for play bars where hookers are abound. And I love visiting Suk 11 because it's a great place now. Lots of international restaurants in a great relaxing atmosphere.

Aside from all the good Thai girls Sukhumvit Soi 11 is fertile ground for picking up foreign women too. No I'm not talking about foreign hookers. Many women from around the world work in Bangkok too and they're also out for a good time among the bars of Suk 11. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that every single one of them are looking for one nighters. But hey, women are just like men and have needs too. So if you've got game you can pick up foreign women too.

There are a few exceptions. Q Bar for example looks like a mainstream bar but they have a fair share amount of working Thai girls freelancing. Le Fenix Sukhumvit 11 Hotel is right across from Q Bar and I have to mention they have rooms for 1500THB which is an absolute bargain because the location is awesome. I know a lot of guys that pick up girls and take them to Le Fenix because they don't charge joiner fees.

Then there is Hillary 3 Bar which is not total pay for play venue but they do have Thai ladies you can pick up when the price is right. It's a popular watering hole and probably one of the most affordable bars on Suk 11 to grab a beer and check out some local talent.

Ambassador Bangkok Hotel and Club Climax

And of course one of the most popular pick up joints on Soi 11 is Club Climax in the basement level of the Ambassador Hotel. Club Climax is also a good after hours club. The Ambassador is a good place to stay because it's also guest friendly too, which is convenient when you plan to take hookers back to your room.

Matter of fact there are a lot of well rated hotels in Suk 11 that permit hookers in guests rooms. Which is one of the better reasons to stay in that area. Other choices are the President Palace Hotel and Salil Hotel Soi 11.

Finally, I have to mention there is a newish popular bar/club called Levels located right inside the Aloft Bangkok Sukhumvit 11 Hotel. I went there just last week and I have to tell you I've never seen so many beautiful ladies. Not just Thai but foreign ladies too in their early to late 20's. In my estimation I would say it's mostly ladies that are not in pay for play scene. At least it seemed to me that night.


And if you're not way too old and know how to talk to ladies perhaps Levels Club could be one of your best bet on picking up a freebie or more.