Centara Seaview Resort, Khao Lak

During November 2013 I had friends stay at this resort in Khao Lak and went to see them on various days. Centara has a good reputation and with it's 197 luxury rooms, including one Royal Executive Pool Villa, seven Royal Pool Villas, two Royal Villas, 27 Deluxe Pool Villas and three disabled rooms, this resort delivers as well.

The rooms are big and nice with all you need and expect in resort in this class and you have immediate beach access on a lovely white sand beach.

Just keep in mind that there's a lot of water around the resort so there might be mosquito's and as in all Centara resors, the wifi doesn't come free and is actually way overpriced.

On the other hand, the recreational sport facilities and children activities are fantastic, with plenty of options and choices. The swimming pool has a slide which the children will enjoy.

The resort is also just a 5 minute walk away from the main road where you can find plenty of different restaurants and shops to your liking.

A good hotel in a nice location with plenty of options to enjoy your holiday.

Booking by Agoda

Booking by Hotels Combined

Deluxe Ocean room

Guest room

Royal Pool Villa

Swimming pool

Overview

Samkong Place, Phuket

This modest place is located in Talat Yai, Phuket Town and is within walking distance of two big hospitals; Bangkok Hospital and the Vachira (government) hospital

There's fast wifi in the room with the hotel offering plenty of parking space and around the hotel there are plenty of local eateries. Samkong is a lively place and besides the restaurants, there's plenty of other conveniences around near the hotel, like small mini markets etc.
Very good is that the hotel is located away from the busy main road and there's no traffic noise in the rooms. 

The rooms seem safe, are clean and big and come at a very affordable price.

Booking at Agoda

Booking at Hotels Combined

Guest room

Twin room

Double room

Guest room

Hotel exterior

Green Tree Village, Phuket

Last month we stayed at this lovely bungalow village, which is located near the roundabout of the two heroines in Phuket, the Thao Thep Kasattri (ท้าวเทพกระษัตรี) and Thao Sri Sunthon (ท้าวศรีสุนทร) placing it in a very central location, near to shopping areas, the Laguna, the airport and some beautiful quiet beaches as well.

The bungalows are located at a small lake and far enough away from the busy highway to make for an idyllic and lovely setting you can easily fall in love with. The setting will make up for the lack of a swimming pool but good and fast internet in the room as an up again. Breakfast is served at your balcony which makes for a great start of the day.

If you're looking for a quiet and affordable hide away on Phuket, you just found it here!

Booking by Agoda

Booking by Hotels Combined

Living room

Kitchenette

Bed room

View on the bungalow

The lake in front of the bungalows

What Would You Do When The Girl You Chose Is Not....

Exactly what you expected. We've all had it happen at least once. It's called butter face. She's got a smoking hot body. Or she looks pretty. But why does she have that mustache?

Personally, the mustache part really bothers me. The lights inside a go go bar as well as the bright lights in the fishbowls do a great job camouflaging that stash until you tell her to come over and bang there are fine noticeable hairs right above her perfect lips.

Not an actual bar girl in Thailand... Thank god!

Now I can tell you I can easily overlook the hair lip if she's got a great pair of tits and an ass so tight you can bounce 10THB coins off of.

Many Thai girls working in the bar scene and even massage girls have hair lip. Except most ladyboys. I asked a ladyboy friend of mine why most real girls working in the sex industry don't take some grooming tips from the ladyboys.

And she says it's expensive because she goes to expensive clinics and lasers off her five o'clock shadow. Which most bar girls can not afford. I tend to disagree with her opinion because well, she's a ladyboy and her opinions are skewed favorably towards the third gender.

Or what about a massage girl you chose seems to do a lot of talking instead of what you paid her partly to do which is give a massage.

Now some girls are slick and try to get away with doing the work you pay them for and plain lazy. I've heard a lot of complaints via email on this blog.

All I can say is just ask for the massage if one is not given. It's as simple as that. But remember that not all these girls are given really basic lessons on massage. And it's partly due to the fact that many guys who go to soapy and oily massage are there to get there rocks off.

So for me, a girl with a bit of lip hair is not a big deal, as long as her body is smoking hot. Which fortunately most Thai girls working in the bars have.

And if I come across any lazy massage girls, I just tell them straight out I want the massage that I paid for.

What would you do?

Seetanu Bungalows, Koh Phangan

All the PADI IDC's that I taught so far on Koh Phangan were on Haad Chao Phao and the beach there is just fabulous! It's a nice stretch of almost unspoiled beach in a small bay with just a few resorts and Seetanu is one of them.

The 17 bungalows come in various price rates and there a handful of low budget fan rooms changing into good bungalows at the beach or in their luscious garden.

Just for the beach alone you will love it, sunsets and quietness! Just be aware that once every month there's a party near the beach. That night it's not quiet!
The resort doesn't have a pool but the ocean is directly in front and has shallow water.

The bungalows have a good price and I can recommend the are, plenty of restaurants are nearby in this nice and quiet corner of the island.

Booking by AGODA

Booking by HOTELS COMBINED

The entrance sign

One of the beach bungalows

Garden bungalow

Garden bungalow

View on to the beach

The beach

Getting the Akane Skin Scrub Treatment and a Much Needed BJ...

I should really stick to visiting massage parlors and go go bars...

Occasionally I do a lot of stupid boneheaded nonsense. Like taking on a trek through hilly terrain with a mountain bike up country.

I did some short trips in and around parts of Vietnam because a good buddy of mine put me up to it. So I figured why not bike around in Thailand. Plenty of green scenery and hills upcountry. Stupid move Jim.

Long story short I tumbled more than a few times down some slopes. Got more mosquito bites in one day than I've had in one year. I wouldn't blame the mozzies. It was a long, long bad day.

So what could cheer me up? Heading over to Akane Fashion Massage, the Chidlom Branch of course where I could get my usual skin scrub/massage treatment/hand job.

I would've probably gone somewhere else to get the full treatment but my knees and back hurt like hell. And we all know how important are knees and backs are for performing the dirty business.

Akane's skin scrub, simply called the S4 course cost 1780THB for 2 hours. I typically go for the 80 minute course which cost 1480THB but I have a lot of dirt and grime I want scrubbed off.

I called up ahead to make an appointment with my usual girl. As I've mentioned before, Akane girls, particularly at the Chidlom branch, do not employ the prettiest girls (my opinion of course). But their ladies are trained very well if you know what I mean.

As usual, customers place their valuables inside a locker and the key is secured around the customer's wrist. You'll get lead up to a room first where you disrobe and given a towel to wrap around your waist.

For the skin scrub treatment, customers are lead back downstairs to the basement with about stalls, each a steel table covered with a rubber mat. Kinda looks like an autopsy table at a morgue.

The massage girl first rinses the table down with a shower head and then you lay down with your meat and veg hanging out. Don't be shy, these girls have seen it all.

The skin scrub is done with big coarse grains of salt. It is liberally applied all over your skin. On top of that your massage girls wears these special gloves that helps remove dead skin. For the uninitiated, getting scrubbed down with big clumps of salt and a mitt that feels like sandpaper is uncomfortable.

For me, it's pure bliss knowing that all that shit and grime accumulated during the bike trek is getting washed away.

A nice wash down with soap follows the skin scrub. And if your massage girl is in a playful mood she'll play around with your meat and veg.

And as I mentioned before, Akane Massage is the type of joint where the ladies are trained to play around with your asshole. No I'm not into it. But from what I hear from the ladies a lot of customers ask them to put in a finger or two (and even three, you sick bastards).

Overall, the skin scrub segment of the S4 massage course last around 30  to 40 minutes. The ladies are thorough and they don't rush. Which is a good thing.

Afterwards, customers are taken back to the rooms upstairs where the massage begins and of the course the bj.

Akane Massage is simply one of my favorite places to visit and a place I know I can always get reliable and dependable good service. Even though they don't have the hottest looking girls, to me that's something that I can easily overlook because every time I leave their shop I always have a happy face.

Why I Like Thermae Bar and Coffee...

I met up with a bunch of my best friends at one of my favorite watering holes in Ekkamai last night. Just catching up and shooting the shit like old times after my month long stay in Vietnam.

A few of them mentioned how much the Thermae has gone done the drain since the girls working inside started giving preferential treatment to the Japanese and Koreans. Now this wasn't something that just happened over night.

In general, Thai working girls have always preferred Japanese and Koreans for as long as I can remember. They love their skin tone, boy bands and TV soap operas.

That doesn't bother me though. To me, the Thermae is a great place to sit and have a chat with friends. Because it's relatively quiet compared to full blown go go bars with stereo loudspeakers on steroids.

One other big complaint about Thermae's hookers is you can't take a good look at the goods before you can take them to a room, either upstairs at the Ruamchitt Hotel (500THB hourly charge) or you can just book a room there if one is available. The Ruamchitt located between Soi 13 and Soi 15 is one of the areas most affordable hotel's on Sukhumvit road.

I've mentioned this already but most of the ladies at Thermae had babies. Most of the ladies I've been with working their have stretch marks on their stomachs. I realize that this is probably a deal breaker for most guys.

But most Thai girls that do have kids were knocked up when they were young. Possibly during their late teens or even earlier. So it's not that bad, at least my opinion.

Either way you can still find a few gems here and there stashed away on the soft seats or standing around the Thermae's stairway entrance in the back.

I like Thermae for its old school atmosphere. No I'm not quitting on the bars. But once in awhile I like to kick back in relative peace where the only sounds of music comes from a Jukebox. And I'm the chatty type so much so my friends say I can't shut up.

Inside, you don't need to shout at the top of your lungs just to tell your friends you have to take a piss. And many times my business partners and I enjoy chatting about business before taking a few girls out. And even if we don't take any girls out we still manage a good time just taking in the scene.

As I mentioned there are quite a few gems inside. And these girls are usually quite firm with their rates so no matter how much bargaining and complaining about your blue balls they won't give you a discount.

That's because they know they're worth and eventually a customer will come along and pay that 2500 Baht short time price.

In general, most girls inside Thermae charge 1500THB for short time. And these girls are in the 5s and 6s on the the scale of 10 for looks.

It is possible to find girls in the 7s and 8s but it goes without saying you're just going to have to cough up more Baht to get with one.