The Short Time or Long Time Debate

Once a guy spots a bar girl working her magic on the poles the question that pops into mind is "Hmmm... should I short time or long time her?". Obviously the cash you have in your pocket plays a big factor. However I've started contemplating the cons of taking a go go girl out of the bar for long time.

But I'll first clarify the difference between short and long for the newbies

In the red light districts, short time means 1 hour. There are girls that will go for 2 hours, but most of the better looking bar girls and freelancers stay 1 hour. Just be sure you discuss this with the lady and don't assume anything.

Long time means from the point and time you've taken her out of the bar, beer garden, where she was standing on the soi to morning, usually up until 8am but no longer than 9am.

If she stays past 9am I think you've got yourself a clinger. Just kidding. It's rare they'll stay longer as they usually have to go back to where ever.

If you've finished early with 30 minutes to spare, she will shower up and leave. Now you can make a big stink about it or you can just let her leave early. It's all up to you. However, if you want to avoid this issue, I suggest clarifying to your hooker of the night that 1 hour means 1 hour.

The Cost

When you're in a room with a Thai hooker for 1 hour short time this means that you get 1 shot only, not unless you've spoken to her and she agrees to give more. But the rule of thumb is you get 1 shot only. Whether you want to bang a bar girl or street hooker in Thailand, short time price can be as low as 500THB (yuck) and up to 2500THB which is the price prettier girls charge.

For long time you get 2 shots. If you want more shots then you're going to have to pony up more cash.

When you shell out the cash for long time which can run as high as 6000THB for a popular bar girl for example in Bangkok's Soi Cowboy or Pattaya's Walking Street's Baccara; sometimes you can't help but feel a bit of buyer's remorse afterwards.

What happens during long time?

Besides the obvious, some guys might be wondering about what goes on after both parties had sex and there's 6 hours left before it's morning?

I guess you can stay up all night and look at her. But that would probably creep her out if she notices. I suppose you can squeeze her tits the whole night. But that would probably piss her off while she's trying to sleep. Sounds a lot like my first marriage.

Like in short time, there is a good chance the girl would leave early. For me, this would be an issue since you're paying a lot more for her time. So, to avoid this issue and before you pay that bar fine, do make it clear on what time she is able to leave.

Through the years I've had a lot of good experiences with long timing a Thai girl. But I also had a crap load of bad ones too.

One time was when I long timed a girl working at Rainbow 4 bar in Nana Plaza. She looked great in the bar but when I took her back she had these nervous ticks. Come to think about it she's always had it but it's harder to notice at a bar. Her eye lids would twitch and the twitches looked worse because she had removed her make up.

Her twitches really irked me and I wanted to say stop but that would be cruel. And this was while I was getting a hummer. It was so bad I wanted to use my fingers to keep her eyelids still.

And many have foreign supporters or Thai boyfriends and they'll leave their phones on and it'll be ringing on and on through the fricking night. I'm a nice guy. Really I am. But I wanted to answer the phone and say 'She's busy, can she call you back'. I told you I'm nice.

Other times while staying at a very nice 4 star hotel or better you might get girls who don't want to leave at all. They'll hint on going shopping hoping I'd indulge them on a shopping spree. Good luck with that.

So these days when a newbie ask my opinion on this matter I just tell them do short time. Don't complicate things. Because if you're coming to Bangkok or Pattaya for a short vacation, you might as well bang as many different chicks as possible.

Getting a Rub and Tug at Thonglor Massage

I had a fun time for the past few weeks in Hong Kong and when I got back to Bangkok I needed a full body massage. My supposed quick 3 hour flight from HKG to BKK didn't go as planned. For whatever reason, the plane had to sit on the tarmac for an extra 2 hours.

Being cooped up in a plane for 5 hours with screaming Chinese children was excruciating.

So once I got back to Bangkok a massage was in order. Normally if you want a 'true' Thai oil or traditional massage you'd have to go to a shop that doesn't have a sign that says 'testicle massage' or 'teen massage' with ladies all done up in make up wearing evening gowns in the middle of the afternoon.

And from my experience, the best masseuses are from what I call Thai aunties and grandmothers. However, I don't want a hand job from them.

So what if you want to go to a place to get a decent massage by a decent looking massage girl who knows the fine art of Thai massage? 

For that, I head to Thonglor Massage on Sukhumvit soi 24, which is right by the side of the Emporium Mall next the Phrom Phong BTS station. There's a map on their website so it's really easy to find.

I went straight to Thonglor after making a call to reserve my favorite massage girl while I was halfway to Makkasan station on the airport express train. My first choice was busy throughout the day but my second choice was available by the time I made it to the shop.

So a quick transfer to the MRT and then on to the Sky Train and I was at Thonglor in an hour.

One major thing I like about Thonglor Massage is that it's very clean. So clean it's almost the type of place you'd take your mother in law who will have no clue of the monkey business that goes on. While the establishment does put an emphasis on spa services so you will be asked if you want seaweed wraps or body scrubs with mud. I've tried the mud scrub once for kicks and it was fun but once is enough.

They have these nice reclining massage chairs on the ground floor with incense wafting in the air. I've never seen any customers on the massage chairs as most customers are of course upstairs getting down and dirty.

If you've checked out their website's service and menu page you'll find that their massage prices are suspiciously cheap. A basic 60 minute oil massage cost a measly 500 Baht. A basic 60 minute spa package will set you back 1200 Baht.

That's because you have to remember that the price you see on the menu does not include full service or any sex services at all. The price for full service sex at Thonglor is 1500 Baht which you pay to the girl directly.

I typically go with the hand job which cost 500THB. I don't go to Thonglor for full service because I'm actually looking for a good massage by a qualified masseuse. The HJ is just the cherry on top.

Now I'm not saying that all of the girls in the shop are ugly. There are only 3 girls that I consistently pick because they know how to give a good body rub. And their faces are quite cute and the attitudes always fun. And if that's all I only want that's why I go to Thonglor Massage.

My 5 Favorite Pattaya Go Go Bars

You have no idea how are it was to write to post. Because I really like a lot of go go bars in Pattaya and narrowing all of them down to my personal top 5 go go bar list meant that I would be leaving a lot of names that I really like.

It was a whole lot easier when I wrote about my top 5 favorite bars in Bangkok. Because club for club, the number of bars to pick up girls is greater in Pats.

But since I know a lot of guys who come to Pattaya are staying there for a short time, and don't need too much info to muddle up on deciding where they should go to find the best looking bar girls and not getting ripped off at a bar.

Off the bat I want to say that all of my personal favorites are all centered around Soi LK Metro which is in the central area of Pattaya and also the place I go for finding girl friendly hotels.

Plus the hotels on LK Metro are not that far off a walk from Beach Road or Cheap Pussy Bay as I call it. That's where you'll find hordes of Thai freelancers up and down the promenade late into the night. If you would like to stay closer to the beach take a look at a post I wrote last year where you'll 8 budget Pattaya hotels that are good quality and in the perfect locations near bars, Walking Street and even Soi LK Metro.

But I don't want to concentrate on Soi LK Metro solely. Ever though personally I am content on staying in that area alone and just chilling out in the surrounding bars. However, I know a lot of perverts reading this also want to check out Walking Street or even Soi Diamond. And rightfully so because there are plenty of great go go bars in those areas as well.

I'll add in the bar fine price for each go go bar below. Remember bar fines are paid to the bar along with the drink bill. Keep in mind that you have to pay a separate price with the bar girl for sex or whatever.

The going rate for short time (1 hour) ranges from 1500THB to 3000THB. Though don't be surprised if it goes above 3000THB for the hour if the bar girl is desirable. Long time rates can range from 4000THB to 6000THB and again this overnight rate can explode if she knows her own worth. This does happen so whatever you do don't look so god damn desperate.

So with the intro out of the way here are my 5 best go go bars in Pattaya (in no particular order) starting with:

1. Champagne A Go Go

This ad is from Champagne A Go Go Website

Okay, so Champagne go go bar is located right on the corner of Soi Diana and Soi LK Metro. To the guy who came up with this free blow job when you buy the first drink is a marketing genius. My hats off to you sir! Every Wednesdays and Friday nights is free pizza night! Though please make sure to check out their website here to see if these specials are still around.

Sorry, didn't mean to get too excited. It doesn't hurt either that Champagne has some pretty fine looking bar girls either. And that's what I go there for. Because to be honest, the pizzas not that great. But at least their happy hours last from 2pm to 9pm. And I have to mention that even in the early afternoon you can still find pretty girls working the stage at Champagne. Particularly their coyote girl dancers!

These dancers are sort of like the A-Team girls which means they're prettier and younger. So you're going to have to cough up more for the bar fine which is 800THB. But you can't bar fine them before 11pm because they're the lure that draws in the crowds.

The regular dances will set you back 600THB which is right on par with most go go bars in Pattaya these days.

It's a great place to go, friendly atmosphere and the drink prices very reasonable.

2. The Office A Go Go

 

Another very popular go go bar nearby competing against Champagne. Just head down a bit further towards the elbow end of Soi LK Metro and you'll find the Office A Go Go and all its glory.

They don't have the bells and whistles that you'd find in other bars around though they still have some excellent talent to keep a guy satisfied and happy. It's a newish bar in the same group as Mash and Submarine which are also within the same area. However, the Office is where the better bar girls are found.

The Office's theme is set up like what you would imagine. The girls are dressed up in kinky secretary like outfits, mini skirts with revealing push up bras and many with exposed naughty bits.

They've got a fine lineup of ladies and I have a blast there all the time because they make you feel like the boss!

The bar fine at the Office will set you back 600THB.

3. Baccara Bar Pattaya

If you've read my post here on how much I like Soi Cowboy's Baccara Bar then you wouldn't be surprised that I am a huge fan of Pattaya's Baccara Bar located right in the middle of Walking Street.

The set up is the same in both. The first floor has the best looking girls though. The second floor has a see through stage and it's where you'll find girls dancing topless and sometime full nude as well.

The atmosphere is great and you'll find it's hard to get good seats since Baccara Pattaya packs in the crowds almost every night.

Drink prices are quite reasonable with lady drinks costing 115THB and a local brew for yourself cost 59THB.The bar fine cost is 600THB at Baccara Pattaya.

You can find Baccara Bar right on the middle of Walking Street, right by Soi Happy.

4. What's Up Bar

 

If you want to see a great show put on by bar girls then head to What's Up Bar Pattaya around 10:30pm. Many bars have dancers that put on half assed shows that look like they were choreographed by retards.

At What's Up Bar the girls there know how to put on a great show with revealing costume get ups and nice little girl on girl action to spice things up. There are even girls to interact with while the shows are going on.

So it goes without saying that the biggest draw to What's Up are the fine dancers they employ that are completely different than the regular go go bar girls.

If you want to bar fine a dancer it'll set you back 1000THB. Plus drinks cost higher for them as well, about 165THB. You can expect to pay higher rates for sexual services as well.

Regular girls cost the standard amount which is 600THB and you can even take out the wait staff which some are very easy on the eyes and not as hardened. However, wait staff bar fines will cost you 800THB.

Yup, what's up bar is on up market scale and if you have to cash to throw around this is one of the places to do so in Pattaya.

What's Up Bar is located on Soi 15 on Walking Street so it's really easy to find.

5. Airport Bar

So I've always had a thing for air hostesses. Okay, so the bar girls working at Airport A G Go are not actual flight attendants but who gives a shit. They're still hot and provide friendly service plus the club itself is quite a place to check out.

Though some might find Airport Club a little claustrophobic. Out of the go go bars reviewed here, this is smallest of the 5 listed here. You are going to be rubbing shoulders with lots of punters. However, since they've got such a fine line up of attractive go go girls I don't mind it at all.

Drinks prices are very reasonable and bar fines will set you back 600THB.

Airport is located right on Walking Street right next to the Soi Diamond beer garden.

As I mentioned earlier on this post there are many go go bars in Pattaya that I genuinly like. But I wanted to keep everything short here just to make things easier on those who simply can't make up their minds on which to visit. That said, I will be working on a bigger list of go go bars that I personally enjoy visiting and share it all here in future posts.

Dusit Thani Laguna Hotel, Thalang, Phuket

Although I never stayed at the hotel, it's part of the grounds that host the Phuket Laguna International Marathon, in which I participated in the half marathon events in 2011 (my first half marathon ever) and 2012 and am planning to run for 3rd consecutive year come 9th June 2013.

The location is fantastic, near the beach, nicely isolated so a quiet time is guaranteed and the hustle and bustle of Patong, Katha or Karon is just half an hour away by car and the airport is just a 15 minute ride away. At the entrance to the resort there are local eateries as well, within walking distance so you an enjoy and partake in the local cuisine easily, in case you get bored with the hotel food.

The hotel boasts 254 rooms, which come in a great variety, so plenty of options are available and they all come with the modern dy amenities like wifi, private balconies and special orthopedic beds to ensure a good night's sleep. A great spa, swimming pool and a beautiful beach are at your disposal as well.

A good place to spend your holiday, not only for running!

Agoda  

Hotels Combined 

Guest room

Guest room interior

Suite room

Swimming pool

Beach

Wellness Residence Bangkok - An Affordable Place to Stay Near Soi Cowboy

So there are loads of girl friendly hotels right by the go go bars of Soi Cowboy. Here's a list of most hotels in that area that are less than 10 minutes walk and some less than that.

But what if you want to stay at a hotel less than a 100 meters away from the best go go bars in Bangkok?

Then consider taking a look at the Wellness Residence, which I have never noticed from all the times I've been to Soi Cowboy. A good friend came over to visit just last week and he picked the Wellness because he's getting married soon. And he wants to sow his oats to last a life time.

And to him it looks like a good place to stay as any to short time as many girls as he possibly can while drunk. So this is his last hoorah so to speak in whoredom.

The hotel is located less than 100 meters from Soi Cowboy

He had spotted Wellness Residence once heading over to a 7 Eleven to purchase some condoms after bar fining a lady at Baccara and taking her to the short time hotel nearby. And it was closer to any hotel next to Soi Cowboy then he had known about previously.

Wellness Residence - Deluxe Room

The Wellness Residence has only 20 rooms. With so few rooms on property you would think that the rooms are small but surprisingly they are not. A deluxe room is 25 square meters with a base price of about 1200THB a night. A superior room size is 30 square meters. And the price difference between the deluxe and superior is around 200 Baht.

Need more space? The hotel has Thai superior rooms that are a whopping 40 square meters to play around with your bar girl. That room will set you back about 1600THB per night with special discounts and that's a sweet deal. Which is the room my friend chose. But a reminder even though the Wellness is guest friendly they'll allow you to take up one lady at a time. It's something my friend found out the hard way when he tried to take three Thai hookers to his room. He's always been the over zealous type.

Like many hotels within the similar budget range, there's no pool, no gym though there is a snazzy sauna. Plus free Wi-Fi internet access is of course a much appreciated amenity. But the biggest advantages for solo travelers of course is the hotel's location. You can walk to Nana Plaza in around 15 minutes or just hop into a taxi and if the son of a bitch turns on the meter it should cost under 40THB.

And the location near the hotel is busy with the Sky Train and MRT stations just minutes away on foot as well as a bunch of foreign oriented restaurants and the Terminal 21 super mall.

So I get a lot of request for which guest friendly hotels are cheap and not far from Soi Cowboy. Wellness Residence matches both descriptions just fine so it's a pretty good place to stay in Bangkok.

Here is the email confirmation from the hotel regarding its joiner policy:

Greetings from Wellness Residence,

We do not charge joiner fees. Only kindly ask visitor to leave ID card with security for your safety and well being.

Regards,
Staff at Reception

Check current rates and read more guests reviews here.

More on Hong Kong's Naughty Nightlife

I've noticed an increasing interest on the subject of Hong Kong's nightlife after writing this post last month.

Matter of fact I'm heading there to get away from the Songkran madness. And the April weather in Hong Kong is hell of a lot better than Bangkok now. It's really hot as balls here in the Big Mango with the heat index hitting the 100 degree mark.

Photo screenshot from sex141.com

I'm getting a lot of remarks however that the best looking hookers on the website directory sex141.com are too expensive. Well, duh!! Even in Bangkok you're not going to get a girl who looking like the one pictured above for 300THB. Besides, 800HKD per 45 minutes to 1 hour is about the price you'd pay to be in the company of a higher end sideliner at pricey soapies of Bangkok.

It's also possible to get a Chinese massage girl plus sex for 1500THB, however even though the photos look appealing, when you get there, they can look entirely different like the chick pictured below. And yes, I am speaking from experience.

Photo screenshot from sex141.com

I typically go for the girls in the 600HKD and up because with that price you're getting better looking girls. After all, I'm not going to spend a lot of money on hotels for nothing.

Which leads me to the subject of hotels because the second complaint are that hotels in Hong Kong are expensive. True that they are, and the reality is that Hong Kong is pricey with cheap hotels available but you're still paying a hefty price. Upmarket hotel prices are even crazier. So once in a while I consider a visit to Hong Kong's nightlife as a treat.

My secret is to book ahead of time or use a website like hotelscombined.com to check out a bunch of different websites for discount rates for hotels in Hong Kong.

But I already know where I'm going to stay and that's in the Kimberley Hotel, on the Kowloon side of HK in the Tsim Tsa Tsui district. I stated in my last post it's where many high end prostitutes found in sex141's directory stay at.

A standard room at the Kimberley run about 6000THB so for that I typically book through Agoda.com which I can get a room for about 4000THB (as of writing for April 2013 travel).

If you see the words "Hotel Walk In" on a girls profile plus Tsim Tsa Tsui location, it's a good bet that the girl you want to hook up with is staying at the Kimbereley.  I just want to reiterate that the hotel plays no role in supplying their guests with hookers.

So you will have to call the phone number on the profile directly to find out which room the girl is staying in.

And as far as I know, all hotels in Hong Kong are visitor friendly. So you can always look up any girls providing in-call service from sex141 and have them visit your hotel. However, don't be surprised if a hooker refuses to come up to your room if they know your hotel is too cheap or too far away. It's only for their safety.

Which is why you should pick a hotel in the Tsim Tsa Tsui district or the other two hotels I recommend below.

Photo screenshot from sex141.com

If I find that the Kimberley is out of my price range because a convention is in town my second go to hotel is the BP Hotel, which is only about a 10 to 15 minute walk from each other. It cost about 3500THB per night but the rooms are tiny.

But if I can't get a good price for BP then I stay at the Hong Kong Hotel and their rooms cost about 1600THB and it's not bad at all. This hotel is also a short walk to many brothels on the streets and apartment buildings where Chinese ladies provide massage and happy endings in their own rooms.

As I mentioned before, it's really fun to get away for awhile and hang out in Hong Kong. Air Asia has frequent specials for around 3500THB round trip and sometimes cheaper. To me, it's always fun to mix it up a bit and I look forward to heading HK in a few weeks.
 

My 2013 Top Bangkok Hotel Picks For All Budgets

A bit of daytime action found between Sukhumvit Soi 5 and Soi 7

Following up on a bunch of questions I've answered on a previous post here's a list of hotels I would personally stay at a certain price range. I've been to all of these girl friendly hotels either staying at one personally or having friends who've stayed there so I had a good chance to take a good look at the hotels I mention below.

And all of them are right in the Sukhumvit area. I've had a few people inquiring about Patpong girl friendly hotels but to be quite honest, there really is no need to stay in that location. Just get a hotel in Sukhumvit because there's plenty more to do especially if you're seeking out daytime action. Because I know a lot of guys are asking where to find hookers for an afternoon delight in Bangkok.

Well you can always head over to the Nana Hotel car park, up and down Sukhumvit soi 4 and of course right between Sukhumvit soi 5 to soi 7.

I have nothing against Patpong of course. It's just a matter of convenience. You can always take the Sky Train whether you're staying near Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy and get to Patpong in about 15 to 20 minutes. Take the MRT subway train at the Sukhumvit station to Silom station and you're just short a 5 minute walk to Patpong.

So I'm offering my personal hotel selections on this blog post because I receive a lot of emails from guys who don't know which hotel to pick that have no joiner fees. Because there's so many fricking choices especially when they look at my list of gf hotels in the Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza area.

Even though I have my own cozy place to run out my clock in Bangkok I still book hotels closer to the city's red light districts. Because it's much more convenient for me whenever my friends come over for a visit to hangout and drink myself silly with my best friends.

Plus if my neighbors catch me with a hooker I'd be the pariah of the neighborhood and parents would be pulling their kids away when they see me. I just don't want that type of attention. Oh yeah, Thais in townhouse communities are just as proficient in gossiping as us white folks. Sometimes a bit way too nosy too.

Anyways I have narrowed down a short list of hotels. I chose these hotels as if I was coming to Bangkok as a newbie with a set budget in mind. Below you'll find a hotel I recommend along the sois of Sukhumvit road from 1000THB like the plain yet adequate Orchid Place to mid range hotels like my highly recommended Majestic Grande, both are just a few minutes walk to Nana Plaza.

Be advised that the recommended hotels prices will fluctuate plus or minus a few hundred Baht depending on the season. This is especially true for upmarket hotels like the Grand Centre Point Sukhumvit that I recommend below.

Orchid Place on Sukhumvit soi 6

The cheapest guest friendly hotel on this list is the Orchid Place which is priced at around 1000THB per night for a standard room. It's all basic and no frills but the location is the real advantage.

If all I had was a 1000THB to spend a night in Bangkok this hotel would be it. Because it's just around the corner from Nana Plaza and the Nana Hotel car park for freelance hookers.

Now I have never stayed at the Orchid personally but I have seen the rooms of friends who have and they look clean for a cheapie hotel.

Sure, the hotel looks like a dump from the outside but if all you're worried about is sleeping in a clean room and the ability to bring hookers to your room without a hassle then the Orchid Place will suffice.

Heaven @ Hotel on Sukhumvit soi 4 - This is a superior room

Heaven@4 Hotel is another cheapie place to stay. Sometimes I see hookers standing outside of the hotel's bar. This is the hotel where most of my friends on a budget stay because so far there is a book 4 nights pay for 3 deal if you make a booking through my reservation website here.

The total including taxes is only 4500THB. No breakfast mind you but there's plenty of places to eat on Sukhumvit soi 4. Heaven@4 is another no frills hotel. It's clean and adequate. Nana Plaza is close with a short walk as well as all the other honeys to check out nearby.

I've never stayed at the Heaven@4 either, but again my friends have and I have seen their rooms and for the price it's well worth it. Don't be surprised if there are no rooms available if you're trying to get a room. So be sure to book ahead of time.

DI Place - Very near NEP's go go bars

Now if I want to stay in a newer hotel that is less than a 3 minute walk from Nana Plaza check out the budget DI Place Hotel. You can expect to spend a little over 1200THB for an 18 sq meter room.

There are also a few Thai prostitutes, some are ladyboys if that's what you're looking for standing by the entrance of the soi leading to the hotel. And of course you have the option of just crossing across soi 4 to Nana Hotel for even more ladies to check out. Check out current rates for DI Place because it's very reasonable.

Boss Suites Nana Hotel

If I can spare 1500THB per night then it's a real no brainer. I would stay at the Boss Suites Hotel in a heart beat. Which I have in numerous occassions.

This hotel is located further down Sukhumvit soi 4 from the hotels mentioned above. If you walk from the hotel to Nana Plaza it would probably take about 10 minutes. Or you can simply use the hotel's free one way tuk tuk service.

This is one of my favorite 3 star hotels in the area because there's a nice little pool and a tiny gym. Every time my friends have stayed there it seems like nobody ever uses the facilities. Anyways, this is a good hotel and but because it's so popular and even though it's only 4 years old it is seeing some wear and tear. I noticed it just recently while my friends were staying there.

Besides that tiny nit pick, Boss Suites is a fantastic hotel that only cost between 1500THB to 1600THB. If you're lucky and check through Agoda.com it might also include a coupon for morning buffet breakfast.

Majestic Grande

For the guys who have a little more to spend and want to stay near Nana Plaza, perhaps one of the best 4 star guest friendly hotel from that location is the Majestic Grande.

It's really a nice hotel and ever since it opened back in 2004 I have been raving about it. Even though it's only 10 years old the Majestic G has been renovated just this year. It's a good looking hotel, very comfortable with nicely decorated rooms. Only drawback is it has a small pool and even smaller gym.

Annie's Soapy Massage is right across the soi if you think that's a benefit. I prefer heading to Huay Kwang for body to body soapies.

Anyways if you book in advance for a minimum of 3 nights there is an early bird 20% off discount good until June 30th, 3013 and you can check if there are any rooms available here with discounts at the Majestic Grande. I just stayed there last month for a week. Check out the lunch buffet on the 7th floor. Just 300THB flat and you get an excellent spread of international and Thai food to gorge yourself.

Finally, whenever I want to splurge a bit on a hotel room I head right to the Grande Center Point Sukhumvit. One night will set you back about 3700THB with taxes and if you've got the cash it's all well worth it. The hotel location is simply amazing but I'm too tired to write more. I wrote a review post here so you can check it out.

So there it is. If you have a hard time figuring out where you want to stay I've done the hard part of narrowing all the hotel information down. All of the hotels mentioned above are near a lot of action, go go bars, massage parlors, street hookers, you name it. Plus the BTS Nana Sky Train and MRT subway train station Sukhumvit are also near these hotels.

If you're wondering why there are no recommendations of hotels that cost less 300THB or so is because I personally don't know anyone who wants to stay in a room that cheap. Hell, I don't even know if there are places that cheap in Sukhumvit. Even if there are, I can't vouch for the cleanliness nor safety. And know it'll be a tiny room with no air conditioning. Trust me, it is hot in Bangkok especially as of writing.

And check back for my top Pattaya hotel choices.

The Thai Testicles Massage - Don't Believe the Hype

The balls massage. Those 3 words alone seems to be enough to send horny guys scurrying from halfway across the globe to seek out a Thai oily massage parlor to experience one.

True most oil body to body massage shops offer them up on the service menu for an extra price. You would usually have to pay an extra 100THB to 200THB on top just to have a lovely young Thai masseuse juggle the boys.

Just like those dumb waste of money nuru nuru massages and seaweed extracts for your dick a lot of shops advertising balls massage claim it can relieve backaches and high blood pressure.

Well... maybe it works temporarily with the blood pressure issue but as far as backaches are concerned you're better off with a couple of aspirins.

Personally I am no big fan of the testicle massage. I have tried a lot it many different shops all over the Phrom Phong section of Sukhumvit and then some in Patpong around the Silom area. Those are two hot spots for oil massage with extra services.

So what's the experience like? Well, it's quite simple. The massage girl puts oil on your veg and plays with the meat for around 5 to 10 minutes. Remember, the cost of a balls massage does not include full service if any is provided. If you finish you'll have to pay extra to get laid.

I find that a lot of the ladies handle the goods a bit too rough. Sure for the first few minutes it's fun. But any longer it can get down right uncomfortable. Okay, some of you guys are probably calling me a big pussy. Maybe you're right. I do have a low pain threshold. Because I have a lot of friends who do enjoy it.

The only place that I had a halfway decent balls massage was over at Ben Ten, which is about 100 meters from the go go bars of Patpong Soi 2, over on Silom soi 6. Or head over to any one of two Akane Fashion Massage shops I wrote about on this post, though you won't find testicle massage listed on their menu from my experience it's already included.

BTW, I'm checking out a bunch of new shops, so you can expect a post on my 5 favorite oil massage parlors coming soon. So stay tuned all you perverts!